Im taking over for Weiberg. First order of business is to fire Gundy. With cause. I’ll find something.
Also, because this is fake I already have the rest of Boone’s estate money. So that’s not an issue.
Here we go!!!
Head coach: Zac Robinson
OC: Weeden or Harrell
QB coach: whichever doesn’t get OC
RB coach: Tatum Bell
WR coach: Rashaun Woods (still open!)
OL coach: Charlie Johnson
Note: Cowboy back is gone under my fictitious regime as AD. Thus my TE’s will actually be TE’s.
DC: Jim Knowles
DL Coach: Swanson Miller or Greg Richmond
LB coach: Kenyatta Wright or Terrence Robinson
CB and safeties coach: RW McQuarters and/or Perrish Cox
Special teams coordinator: (because by God we WILL have one!!!) Dan Bailey and Perrish Cox
I had previously convinced myself that we needed to look outside of the family to find a head man. Someone who could build a staff that knew nothing about Bedlam failure. Or a lack of championships. But I have since done a 180. I’m thinking bring in a bunch of young, hungry, aggressive alumni who feel they have something to prove. Who can take those years of heartbreak on the field and use that experience to pour into the next gen so that they won’t ever need to feel that way. A staff that builds rosters and gameplans and a culture that is about winning, on and off the field. A staff that refuses to accept mediocrity. And who hates losing more than they love winning. Former Cowboys who are extremely competitive who understand that it will take more than what’s being done currently to achieve success to the highest levels. That’s who I want coaching The Boys. Done rambling. Fire away.
Alright, so I like this idea. Here’s my take on it. (Assuming Boone left us a suitably ridiculous sum of money)
Head coach: Mike Gundy (Need the stability through realignment)
Co-OC: Todd Monken (Shot in the arm for the offense. Is gone when Gundy is.)
Co-OC/Head Coach in waiting: Zac Robinson (Could be our version of Blinkin Riley? He’s got McVay/NFL experience)
DC: Jim Knowles (Give him whatever he wants to stay)
WR Coach: #DemoteDunn (But with a raise)
RB Coach: Marcus Arroyo (I liked him while he was here, pay him whatever he wants to come back)
OL coach: Charlie Johnson (could be interesting, and can’t be any worse than the Charlie we currently have)
QB Coach: Brandon Weeden (Once Gundy and Monken Leave promote him to OC and hire J.W. Walsh to be the new QB coach)
DL coach: Greg Richmond (Clearly he’s good at his job. Keep him. See-ya Joe Bob)
LB coach: Jim Knowles (He’s currently coaching this position as well as being the DC and it’s clearly working, no reason to fix it if it ain’t broke)
CB coach: R.W. McQuarters (I don’t hate the coach we have here currently, but I like the idea of having an alum with the Booker T Washington connection who played in the league here. No clue if he wants the job though.)
Safeties Coach: Dan Hammerschmidt (The man is responsible for KHP. He can keep his job).
Special Teams Coordinator: Dan Bailey or Quinn Sharp (After Gundy and Monken and leave there’s room to add one more assistant. I would prefer Bailey here but I honestly like either of them for this job).
From your list, I’m keeping Knowles, McQuarters, Hammerschmidt, possibly Arroyo, Bailey, and Richmond.
But Gundy, Monken, and Dunn can pound sand. Gundy for every obvious reason, Dunn because he doesn’t have the balls to stand up to him, and Monken because he’s at Georgia and is too old.
I do love fantasy worlds. Half of that won’t work, not even in a fantasy world. Has half of this guys even coached. If they have coached u give them a bigger job then they have had.
So…Youre going to give the Asst QB Coach in the NFL…your HC job? A guy that has never even been a position coach. I dont see how or why that is even being discussed
Mike Gundy was a position coach and/or OC for 15 years before getting the OSU HC job. Robinson is his 3rd year as an Asst position coach. I doubt he even has a headset on during games
President of the United States: Jack Nicholson, he was an awesome president in Mars Attacks!
Vice President: Don Johnson, he put vice on the map with Miami Vice and he’s hungry. You can tell because of the ice cream colored pastels he wore.
Speaker of the House: Gotta be Gilbert Gottfried. He speaks so loud.
Secretary of Defense: Defense? Gotta be Malcolm Rodriguez.
Secretary of State: O-State, baby. Barry Sanders or Boone Pickens’s ghost.
Secretary of the Interior: Gotta be an interior lineman. KEVIN WILLIAMS!
Secretary of Education: Michelle Pfeiffer, Dangerous Minds.
Supreme Court: Judge Judy, the three guys from Hot Bench, People’s Court, Divorce Court, Jerry Springer, Maury Povich, and Dr. Phil
Worst Coaching Staff: Everything y’all just said.
Jug u bring up teams that spend alot of years not even in the minds of many.
Briles should being doing time. Their next one got 1 year. And left the program in awful state.
Texas should be in every year so they find a guy who did it once
Tcu he is more up and down then gundy.
I like Campbell but has alot of Gundy’s issues.
Not a great list of examples.
How about we hire the best guys we can afford and not constantly think that the only way to be successful at OSU is to be an OSU guy? Boynton wasn’t an OSU guy, and I think most of us here are pretty happy with him thus far. You also said you want to keep Knowles, but he wasn’t an OSU guy either. This is the same mentality that Gundy has when he says he can’t recruit Florida because “there are 50 schools closer”.
You are absolutely right. Go get the best guys available, be they alums or not. Ultimately, I want a coaching staff who is willing and able to do everything in their power to propel the program to unseen heights of success. I want a group who has this mindset: “Thank you Gundy for laying a baseline foundation.” Not “Thank you Gundy for the only great era we will ever witness.”
I thought it was Ohio not Florida.
This is coach talk. We have recurits from coast to coast. So what ever nonsense he was spouting should be believed by the young and the old.