Gripe water was our best friend.
2 Likes
So I’m a newly wed. My wife and I were married in June. I actually turned 26 today. My wife is 22. Curious what age most people think is a good age to have kids or how old most were when they had their first. I want kids so bad. So does she, but she really wants to stay at home so we are in the process of trying to figure that out. Anyways thoughts and advice to a newly married man who is already getting into his upper 20’s
3 Likes
You can read all the books, talk to all the parents, and have all the money you could want in the bank, but you can never be 100% prepared to have a kid. It’s just a different world.
4 Likes
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRUMDOG MILLIONAIRE!!! Bring all your questions to me. I’m an expert.
2 Likes
This is why I put people like you in my life! Ride or dies and haven’t even met! 
2 Likes
So age and ability to survive on one income are two different questions. I got married at age 27, I maintain that it was a perfect age as I got to experience 4 years of being a single adult. But 22 & 26 are great ages for parenting! We had kids right away. I was 28 for my first child and 30 for my second.
We were financially able for me to stay home until we sent our kids to elementary school. It was definitely more difficult than I expected it to be though. Preschool, activities start young. I work part-time now and love it. I get to do pick up and our girls get to do all the sports/activities/lessons after school because I can run them.
I also know people with single-income families that make a lot less than we do. It just depends on what sort of lifestyle you and your wife expect or desire.
I’d sit down with her and work out a budget, housing & vehicle options, really discuss what you will sacrifice by omitting her income and then decide together. I think you’ve got the desire…it’s just planning and managing expectations now!
2 Likes
Man, a lot of you guys really outkicked your coverage.
6 Likes
Got married last year, at age 37. Have been basically “married” to my wife since 2013. So since I was 32.
It depends on what kind of people you and your wife are. What are your priorities in life, currently? Do you want to establish yourselves in your careers? Go back to school while the other is working? Do you want to travel? Ask yourself all of these questions. Ask what is most important to you. And then, when you’ve decided all of that, make a plan for when you want to do all of those things. It really helps to also project finances.
I personally think (and I’m probably going to get flamed to hell for this) that Oklahomans, specifically, because of upbringing, feel the need to marry young and have several kids. And a lot of it is religiously based, which is a whole other subject. I grew up with a ton of people like that, at Jenks.
The pope once said that not having kids is “selfish”. Well, guess what? He’s full of s***. Worry about you and your wife, first and foremost. If you can’t take care of yourselves, and establish good life practices and routines, then why are you going to bring a kid into the world and subject them to your general instability (not saying you’re unstable)? You can’t be 100% prepared for a child, I get that, but there are ways you can alleviate the meteor that a child brings with it.
I was a pretty dang independent person before meeting my wife. I enjoyed my occasional one-night stands and no-strings attached dating! What can I say? It’s fun. But I’ve grown out of it. I moved away from it at the right time. Eight years of getting to do whatever I ■■■■ well wanted was enough. And even then, my wife and I did a lot of fun things. But we’re at a collective mental point where we are ready to focus our energy on our first child. We “got it out of our system”, so to speak. Did a great overseas vacation in December. That was our “last hurrah” for awhile.
Bottom line, just relax, don’t rush s***. Go at your own pace. When you and the wife have built a good foundation, then you’ll know when it’s time to bring little ones into it.
6 Likes
TL;DR 
I feel like I hit the jackpot being a parent. One of each with an older boy (16) and younger daughter (14). Parenting in my view follows the axiom you get out of it what you put into it. Teenage brain has been the hardest adjustment, but that is also where I am currently. Hard to grasp how clueless they become when those hormones are flowing. The irony is just before that stage at 10-12 they really are hitting on all cylinders so the change is quite noticeable. The second hardest part, and it comes early, is when your kids have qualities that you don’t like about yourself or your significant other.
My best advice is to be emotionally available to meet you kids needs. Be present in their presence. I read most of the books and incorporated advise that served the values of how I want to raise my children. The biggest pitfall IMO is there is so much information and what comes off as gospel in print is often just opinion. Don’t follow advice unless it fits into the plan the parents have created. As Boone said, “I would take an idiot with a plan over a genius without a plan”. Create your plan and seek guidance where needed. See too many parents blindly following the latest advice, having it not work, and not knowing how to adjust so they just keep trying to get that square peg into a round hole. That isn’t what any kid needs.
5 Likes
Went opposite. I met my wife when I was 15. We dated through high school, and college and we were married in June of 2015 a month after we graduated. We were married before we had jobs even. My wife and I had our niece live with us after we bought our first house at 22 after being married about 6 months. Then we fostered starting in 2016 and eventually adopted our sweet little now 6 year old. During the fostering we had our own for our second kid and she’s now almost two. So I have a 6 year old and a near two year old and I’m 26. And now our niece is back with us… so I have a 6 year old girl, 5 year old girl, and a toddler girl along with my wife. Wouldn’t change a thing. Plus when I get all these kids out of my house at 18 to go to college. I’ll be in my mid 40s 
.
7 Likes
Yeah we got married young. Had kids young. It was tough because neither of us were really established in our career and we were poooooooor. Now we are relatively young empty nesters. My brother didn’t get married until he was 33 and he’ll be much older than I was when his kids are out of the house. They had it easier early, but it will be tougher late.
Moral of the story is there is no right answer. Do what feels right for you and your circumstances.
I’m a girl dad. That fact changed me in profound ways. There is nothing that can crush you or lift you like being the dad to a daughter.
9 Likes
What part of SC? I am just north of Charlotte.
We’re in Anderson. I work in Greenville.
1 Like
I’m a relative newlywed too. 2 kids, daughter (TCU) and son (Tulane). The two granddaughters were flower girls.
7 Likes
We’re considering adoption. Would you recommend the foster route first?
What town? I’m from Greensboro. There were actually three of us from there when I was at OSU.
Sleep when she sleeps @kyleboone. I wasn’t much of a napper and didn’t for the first few weeks. Life got better when I followed my son’s nap schedule when I was able to.
2 Likes
Kids are great. My three, ages 13, 9 and 6. No wife in this pic… but she’s a smoke show and a testament to my charm and charisma.
4 Likes
2 boys and 2 girls for me, ranging from 29 to 17!
1 Like