I just finished it, too! Look forward to the discussion.
Could we get a list for the next few books? May need to put a library hold on them.
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Finished. In!
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Finished it this morning, and look forward to discussing Malcolm Gladwell’s latest book, Jerry Sandusky Is Misunderstood with everyone.
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Started late - week an a half ago - and have ~50 pages to go. Looking forward to our discussion.
Let’s plan on discussing this throughout the day tomorrow. You can come with thoughts, chime in but it can be asynchronous.
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OK, Talking to Strangers. First question …
What was your biggest takeaway from the book?
When talking to strangers, trust is necessary but it’s also precarious. We must proceed cautiously, humbly, and inquisitively.
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My biggest takeaway is twofold, don’t assume that anyone understands you, especially based on non-verbal cues, and default to charitably construing other people.
How incredibly easy it is for one to misunderstand or misconstrue other’s true intentions, and the huge effect that can have on future interactions. The Sandra Bland incident in particular was very eye opening. I remember when it was in the news, but had never really gotten into the details of it.
Not exactly taken from the book, but taken from inflection on the book… Things will always be taken as one perceives them for him or herself. The best (or worst) of intentions can be taken completely wrong, simply because of the presentation of the information. A person’s past dealings and interactions play a huge effect into the way they perceive information.
As a kid/young adult in athletics I always responded well to a coach holding me to a high standard, being intense, etc. But I had grown up in a family that expected success and hard work. As I have aged, I have grown to understand why some of the other guys couldn’t handle being yelled at. They had probably either a) never been yelled at before or b) had only been yelled at in a demeaning and downgrading manner.
As the communicator we forget that a person’s past (even though long gone and irrelevant to the current moment) frames the way they will react in any situation. Ok lol I will get out of my rabbit hole now.
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Don’t assume the stranger is wrong because they are different. And simultaneously, communication is incredibly important between strangers and those we know more closely.
It’s easy to be at one end of the spectrum of trust and distrust. Finding a place to consider both sides is crucial to avoid jumping to conclusions for/against people.
I’m late to the party here, but would love to hop into the book club on the next reading.
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I think my biggest takeaway was the need for sympathy and (when necessary) empathy. I – for whatever reason – expect others to act and react in similar ways (or the same way) I do, and that is almost never the case in real life. I thought the Friends stuff was fascinating when it talked about differences in facial reactions and how we think we know something or can interpret it based on the caricature or Hollywood version of that thing, but everybody responds differently to different things.
I don’t know if this was the intention, but it definitely made my heart toward the rest of the world kinder (even to PV Poke).
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Question No. 2 – Which of the individual stories was most memorable?
The PSU story was most memorable but not in a good way. He seems to ignore a lot of evidence, and then doesn’t have the courage at the end to just say Sandusky is innocent. I have some sympathy for his point about what exactly Paterno knew, but I’m not sure it was necessary to slander McQueary to do it.
I thought the Stanford/Brock Turner chapter was really intriguing. Ditto the Friends one. I think the ability to see a situation from every angle is something we lack as a society (not to go full Gundy here).
By the way, next book will be Boom Town.
We’ll discuss end of Feb./beginning of March.
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The chapter on the Queen of Cuba was memorable for me. It’s a wild thought that the organizations in place could be so drastically wrong is wild.
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The friends chapter, I talk to people for a living and reading their reactions is a huge part of my analysis. Right now I’m dealing with someone with mental illness. Their reactions are never what I would expect, but now I’m second guessing the way I interpret their reactions. Maybe their mismatched? It forces me to at least ask the question before assume I understand the situation.
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